Warriors: Numb Like Snow
by Petalwish
Summary: They were lost and forgotten in seasons of darkness, until a promise made long ago changed everything. Coalkit, Snowkit and Ferretkit never knew of their purpose until the echoes of their past life threatened to ruin them. Now each of them have a dark secret looming over them, secrets that could shatter all that they were meant to be... Sequel to Warriors: Black and White
1. Prologue :3

He knew that the seasons never changed where he was; he knew that the grass was always green, the forest was always dense, and the air was always refreshingly warm. But there was always something about the greenleaf that made even these ranks seem prettier than normal. No one else seemed to see it, but he did, and he was glad that he got to see something better in something that was always beautiful.

So he walked, admiring this landscape that has been his home for many seasons. Some said that where he lived, it was perfect. It was never cold, and it always sparkled with a bright silver light, light that represented hope. But they were wrong; it wasn't perfect. It all looked the same, and nothing really ever seemed to change.

Even so, he walked. He'd seen this forests thousands of times before, and he would continue to gaze at its beauty. His paw steps were growing lighter by the sunrise, his ocean blue eyes dimmer with each moment. He didn't have much time left where he was, and eventually, he would be gone, lost in the air, not even big enough to be a memory.

He'd served his though. He called the many names of Clan leaders, though he never gave a life. He watched as every new warrior was made, though he was truly never one himself. He feared the fall of the Clans and rejoiced as they rose again from the ashes. He watched the ones that had cared for him.

He was happy, nothing could touch him, and nothing could harm him.

So he walked, admiring this landscape that his been his home for many seasons.

"Shadowfire... Don't tell me it's true."

The cat turned his head to face the speaker, then flattened his ears to his skull and turned away, his tail wrapping around his paws. "What does it matter, Nightblaze? It's not like it'll change anything. Whitestar still hates my insides after what happened with her brother."

"You had to kill him." Nightblaze meowed solemnly, padding forward and sitting beside Shadowfire. "It was for the best of HailClan, and you were the only cat who saw the-"

"The what?" Shadowfire hissed, digging his claws into the ground. "The bitterness in Blackfang's heart? The sorrow and betrayal in Whitestar's eyes when I murdered him in cold blood? I killed her brother, Nightblaze. I can't change what happened now."

"Maybe not," Nightblaze replied, wisdom thick in his eyes. "But you can rekindle your relationship with Whitestar... Become mates again, and be the father I know she wants you to be."

At this, Shadowfire snorted and flicked his tail. "My kits -my offspring- are afraid of me. Every cat has told them what I did, what I caused the Clan... The three of them can't even take a light cuff over the ear -without claws, I may add- without flinching..." He gazed at Nightblaze, his eyes hollow. "Besides: I'm in StarClan. How can I possibly rekindle my relationship with Whitestar if I'm dead?"

"That does not matter, brother." Nightblaze meowed, his eyes flashing. He straightened his legs, stiffening slightly.

"The thought of loving Whitestar with all the kindness and life I put into our relationship is a folly." Shadowfire growled. "It's impossible to do, and the way I've murdered Blackfang will always be on my mind."

"And it has haunted you for all of this time? We're fading, Shadowfire. It's been seasons since it all happened."

"Every cat has a destiny," Shadowfire said, hostility grasping his voice tightly. "And I failed to fulfill mine."

"Brother-"

"You don't know how it feels," he snarled, whipping around. "All you lived for was to be a messenger. It was me who had to do everything else!" Nightblaze tried to speak, but Shadowfire wouldn't allow it. "Your life was about telling me a stupid prophecy that I had to stop from coming true. Your destiny was easy. I failed!"

Nightblaze blinked, not breaking the stare that Shadowfire threw at him. "There," he began calmly, "Is nothing we can do. It doesn't even matter now anyway. All of this has faded from memory of every cat still alive."

"I spent most of my life and all of my after-life feeling responsible for all of the cats that had died," Shadowfire growled, not backing down. "His life was not worth all of theirs." He paused, pain flooding his eyes, "But it feels like it to me."

"You stopped him in the end. Many more lives could have been lost."

"Are you mad?" Shadowfire retorted, lashing his tail. "You're kidding me, right? No cat should have died that night! And because I didn't work hard enough to help him, to stop his pain, he did the one thing I feared he would. Not only did he take lives, but he damaged his own."

"Brother," Nightblaze chided softly. "What Blackfang and you have developed over the years is over... It's time to move on past that."

"I can't move on knowing I killed Blackfang."

"What are you saying?" Nightblaze asked, his ears pricking as he studied his brother.

"I'm going to find Blackfang and help him."

"Thats against your destiny!" Nightblaze retorted sharply. "You arent supposed to help the enemy!"

"I'm doing it for myself." Shadowfire rose to his paws, his gaze determined. "And no cat will stop me." With that, he left the shadowed clearing, disappearing into the shadows he was named after.


	2. Allegiances (HailClan ONLY!)

**Allegiances: HailClan**

Leader: **Whitestar~ **pure white she-cat with multiple scars on body, dark blue eyes

Deputy: **Silverfang~** long furred gray she-cat with green eyes; she has an odd positioned tooth

Medicine Cat: **Oakfrost~ **dark brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Warriors: 

**Tabbyrose~ **pale tan tabby she-cat with green eyes

**Duskberry~ **jet black she-cat with striking green eyes _(Apprentice: Echopaw)_

**Nightflower~** jet black she-cat with white stripe on the base of her tail

**Cloudsplash~** white tom

**Stormfeather~** yellow tom with gray paws

**Featherstorm~** dark gray tom

**Featherwing~** light gray she-cat

**Swiftwind~** black and white tom

**Stormfrost~ **black and white patched she-cat with amber eyes

**Sharpwind~** dark brown tabby tom with white paws and ear-tips

**Grayfoot~** blue-gray she-cat with dark gray paws

**Bramblefrost~** yellow-ginger tom

**Speckleflower~** gray, brown, and ginger patched she-cat

Queens:

**Willownose~** black she-cat with bright pink nose and gray ears, mother to Sharpwind's kit: **Rosekit~** light gray she-kit with pink tint to her pelt and yellow eyes

**Whitestar~** pure white she-cat with dark blue eyes, mother to **Coalkit~** jet black she-kit with yellow eyes, **Snowkit~** pure white she-kit with amber eyes, and **Ferretkit~** light brown she-kit with dark brown stripe running down her back and ocean blue eyes


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

The HailClan camp was bustling with activity. Snowkit curled her tail around her paws, watching her Clanmates go about their day with wide, admiring eyes.

Warm newleaf sunshine warmed the camp, caught in the stone hollow. Snowkit had been inside the nursery for most of leaf-bare, and while she enjoyed playing with her denmates in the snow she didn't miss the cold. The sun warmed her white pelt comfortably, with a cool breeze to chase away the lingering heat.

Her amber gaze flitted across the camp. She knew the names of every cat in HailClan already, from apprentices to elders, and she couldn't wait to walk amongst them as an apprentice, and then a warrior.

_But I have to wait a moon,_ she thought.

She was two moons old, the youngest kit in the nursery and of her litter. Snowkit spotted her mother sitting outside the warrior's den, eating fresh-kill and chatting with Willownose's mate, Sharpwind. Willownose was laying out in a patch of shade near them, watching her only kit, Rosekit, play in a sun through narrowed eyes.

The small she-kit felt claws sink into her long plumy tail. Growling and turning to face the attacker, she found her sister, Coalkit, sitting there staring down Ferretkit, their other sister.

"You'll never win, Ferretstripe of SunClan!" Coalkit cried indignantly, not even noticing she was standing on Snowkit's tail with sharp claws.

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Coalfoot of HailClan!" Ferretkit retorted, leaping at her black sister and tussling with her. Coalkit -much to Snowkit's relief- rolled away from her tail, the black kittens claws going with her body.

"Hey, Snowkit!"

The white she-kit turned to find Rosekit standing before her with a small smile on her muzzle. "Do you want to play catch the mouse with me?" she asked, hope in her yellow eyes.

Snowkit stifled a purr as Willownose and Sharpwind padded up to their kitten. Willownose grasped Rosekit in her scruff, handed her to Sharpwind, then padded out of camp through the back of the nursery. Sharpwind settled down in a patch of sunlight and began grooming the four moon old kittens pelt, Rosekit throwing retorts at her father as he smoothed every inch of her soft and long pelt with his tongue.

Snowkit's attention was directed to the warriors den, where a pure and powerful looking white tom padded out of the entrance, followed by a black she-cat.

_Who are they?_ Snowkit wondered, tipping her head to the side as she studied to two cats intently.

"That's Cloudsplash and Nightflower, Snowkit." came the soft purr of her mother.

The small white kitten jumped -startled- and then peered sheepishly up at her mother. Whitestar stood proud on her paws, and with her agile figure and positive attitude, she was an asset to the Clan. Her dark blue eyes were watching Snowkit, their depths seeming to burn into her similar snowy-white fur.

Her blue gaze suddenly snapped up in alarm and alert as Coalkit let out a sharp cry. Snowkit blinked her amber eyes, finally seeing what was going on; Ferretkit had Coalkit's tail in her jaws and wasn't letting go.

Snowkit bounded towards her sisters, her eyes wide. "Ferretkit! Let go!" she begged the light brown kit, putting her paws on the side of Ferretkit's head and pushing weakly, trying to get Coalkit's black tail out of Ferretkit's mouth.

Finally, after much tugging and pleading Ferretkit let go. Coalkit mewled in pain, licking the messed up fur on her tail and throwing a hot glare Ferretkit's way. "You ice-heart." she growled, her eyes narrowing upon Ferretkit. "My tail is probably bruised now!"

Ferretkit rolled her eyes. "There's no such thing as a 'bruised tail', Coalkit."

"Actually," mewed Snowkit indignantly, standing beside Coalkit defensively, "there is such a thing." She looked over at Coalkit and nudged her black sister with her muzzle. "You should be fine within a few days."

"How do you know that?" Ferretkit sneered, a smirk crawling up her muzzle. "What are you, a medicine cat?"

"No!" Snowkit retorted, sticking out her tongue and making a 'blah' sound. "I would never want to be! I want to fight, not heal!"

Coalkit sniffed the air absentmindedly. "But wasn't Mama a medicine cat before she was a leader?"

The three kits tipped their heads to the side as they recalled the memory. They had only been a moon old at the time when their mother told them her story; how she strived and fought to become leader after all toms were made leaders by the warrior code, how she defied her Clan and all it stood for... How she stood up for herself and defied her brother in the end, their father -who she never mentioned by name- killed him in cold blood. And finally, when they had came into the world not long after.

Snowkit sighed. It wasn't fair being the smallest kit in the nursery; and to add to that, Whitestar doted upon Coalkit and Ferretkit, leaving her out of the picture almost all the time. Was there something wrong with her? Was she not good enough for her mother's attention?

Her head down, Snowkit padded into the nursery and slipped inside, unnoticed. She padded over to her nest and curled up in it, tucking her nose under her tail. She shut her eyes tightly, wanting to get away from the world.

_I just want to get away..._ she thought as a wail rose in her chest, yet she forced it away. _Is that too much to ask?_

**Hey, everyone! So as you can see, little Snowkit is feeling neglected by Whitestar and her sisters... Her life is going to be the hardest in this story and yes, Whitestar is going to be seen with Ferretkit and Coalkit mostly. Snowkit is the main POV in this, with Coalkit as the secondary POV. Ferretkit doesn't get anything xD. TAKE THAT FERRETKIT! **

**You're all probably mad because 'Whitestar shouldn't do that to her own kit! She was treated just like that!' well, I'm here to tell you:**

**If you don't like the idea of a sad and emotional sequel to Black and Whote, then this isn't a story for you. It's gonna be sad, sad, and more sad. It might make you cry, even. I know that making this chapter made me cry because I can relate to Snowkit very well. **

**Until the next update! **

**~Ben :3**


	4. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

"Willownose, Whitestar? Are you awake?"

"We are, Echopaw. Is there something you need?"

"No, but Duskberry told me to bring you the biggest piece of prey I could find in the forest!" with a loud thud, something hit the floor of the nursery.

A purr rose in Willownose's throat. "Well, that's certainly the biggest piece of prey I've seen in a long time. How about you, Whitestar?"

"I haven't seen a sparrow this feathery since newleaf." Whitestar commented with a flick of her tail in the moss nest she happened to be laying in. "Thank you, Echopaw. You may leave now."

Snowkit opened her eyes just in time to see Echopaw's gray-and-black patched tail disappear out of the entrance. She stared with a wide gaze at that gray creature that laid limply two tail lengths away. It's feathery wing was stretched out towards her, and she reached out to bat it with her paw.

"Snowkit, what in StarClan are you doing?"

Snowkit looked up into the harsh dark blue gaze of Whitestar. The white HailClan leader was staring at her with a fierceness in her eyes, one to match her words. "You don't play with food. That's rude and disrespectful."

Snowkit blinked for a moment and then hung her head in shame. "I know, Mama... I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

"You promised me the last time you did it." Whitestar said and pawed the sparrow closer to her, sinking her teeth into the mass of feathers. She raised her head, blood and feathers attached to her muzzle and in between her claws and pushed it over to Willownose. "Here, Willownose. You must be starving."

Snowkit watched with wide eyes as the two queens passed the bird back and forth, exchanging conversation as they did so.

"Mama," mewed Snowkit sheepishly, "Where's Coalkit and Ferretkit?"

Her mother sent her a stern look, as if to say 'Never interrupt me when I'm talking to some cat other than you.' She then sighed and turned her attention to Snowkit. "They're outside with Rosekit and Echopaw."

"It's Rosepaw now, Whitestar," purred Willownose with a prideful gleam in her eyes. "Have you already forgotten of the ceremony just a few heartbeats ago?"

"Silverfang was the one to preform it," Whitestar corrected hastily. "I was watching my two adorable kittens play and making sure this one was still asleep," she gestured to Snowkit with her tail, a snarl lacing with the words 'this one'.

"Can I go outside?" Snowkit asked, her ears pricking as she heard Coalkit yowl something about some sort of weird smelling herb and then the harsh new of Oakfrost as she sent the adventurous kit out of her den.

Whitestar let out an exasperated sigh. "Snowkit, what have I told you about interrupting me when I'm talking to a warrior? What if it was something important and I was interrupted by you?"

"But Willownose isn't a warrior," Snowkit pointed out. "She's a queen..."

Whitestar growled low in her throat and turned her fierce gaze on her kit. "Don't talk back to me!" She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before opening them again. "Go outside and make yourself useful. Help Oakfrost or something..."

Snowkit let out a purr of delight and rose to her paws, clambering over the side of the nest with a grunt of effort. She skidded down the side of the nest and onto the ground, staring at her mother with thankful eyes. She bounded out into the clearing, her tail streaming behind her.

Out in the clearing, the sun shone brightly, dappling the trees and casting shadows on the ground. Two warriors were sharing prey over beside the warriors den, chatting amongst themselves as they passed a squirrel back and forth; two apprentices -recently appointed by Silverfang- were chattering like birds across the clearing; it was so loud that Snowkit could hear it all the way by the nursery. The two warriors suddenly rose to their paws, beckoning the two apprentice with their tails and left the camp swiftly, Snowkit watching as they passed by her like blurs. Soft snores could be heard from the warriors' den, indicating that they had all finished with patrols and were getting some rest.

"Well, well, well... If it isn't Pathetickit."

Snowkit whipped around, fear cascading up her spine at the sight of Ferretkit and Coalkit standing before her with smirks on their faces; yet the same age as Snowkit, the two kittens loomed over her like crows.

"How do you like being cooped up in the nursery all day, Pathetickit?" Ferretkit asked, her tail-tip waving back and forth.

"I'm sure you just love it in there under Mama's watch all day." Coalkit added with a snort of amusement.

"It's a good thing we're out here to watch you," Ferretkit said, sitting down and wrapping her tail around her paws. "Who knows what would happen if you were let out all by yourself?"

"The Clan would be in chaos, that's what!" joked Coalkit, nudging Ferretkit playfully with her muzzle.

Snowkit let out a growl and narrowed her eyes upon her siblings. Coalkit and Ferretkit stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"Look, Coalkit!" Ferretkit mewed through bouts of laughter. "Pathetickit's getting mad!"

"Oh, no!" Coalkit fretted, her voice laced with fake fear. "She's going to claw our throats out!" The black kitten suddenly got a bright look in her eyes and the smirk on her muzzle widened.

Snowkit was suddenly shoved off of her paws and onto Coalkit, who was laying on her back. Snowkit's tail was being held down by one Ferretkit's paws while her neck was being forced on top of Coalkit's, tilted slightly so it seemed as thought Snowkit were hurting her black sister. Her muzzle was just inches from Coalkit's neck, and she winced as Ferretkit's claws dug into her tail, holding her in place.

"Mama!" cried Coalkit with a pained look in her eyes. "Snowkit's hurting me!"

Whitestar rushed out of the den, her dark blue eyes alert and wide in alarm. She gasped in horror as her eyes landed on Coalkit, and then narrowed to slits as she noticed Snowkit on top of her. "Get away from Coalkit!" she snarled, grasping Snowkit's scruff roughly in her jaws and practically throwing her away from the nursery, making the snowy-white kit land in a thorn bush.

With a grunt of effort and pain, Snowkit dislodged herself out of the bush and blinked away the water known as tears from her eyes. She watched as Coalkit -who had obviously put her claws to her neck and clawed lightly, making it seem as though Snowkit had bitten her- was nudged to her paws by Ferretkit, and then led to the medicine den.

A white flash edged Snowkit's vision, and the white she-kit was suddenly on her back with Whitestar's muzzle inches from her throat.

"What do you think you're trying to do, kit?" snarled Whitestar, saliva dripping from her jaws and her eyes wild. "Stop trying to win this... This con to try and win my affection! It isn't going to work. You're nothing but some imbusle who I just happen to call my kitten. These games you're playing, these cons you're planning... They aren't going to work no matter how hard you try."

"StarClan," Snowkit whispered meekly, hoping her mother couldn't hear her. "Help me!"

"StarClan?" Whitestar let out a cackle at Snowkit's plea. "Ha! You honestly think our ancestors are going to dote on a kit like you? They don't dote on the weak, kit. They dote on the strong, the prideful, and the ambitious. They'll dote on your sisters; they'll kill you with their kindness. I should know: they've already murdered me."


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

Snowkit crouched, her tail low and twitching. Sunshine rippled across her white pelt, her amber eyes focused. She took a single step before she leaped, pinning down her prey with a satisfied purr.

The moss ball disintegrated beneath her claws, and Snowkit took a step back, slightly disappointed. She sat down and sighed, her tail-tip flicking back and forth. Her gaze was suddenly drawn across the clearing, where her sisters were talking to the apprentices Rosepaw, Thunderpaw, and Echopaw.

Snowkit sighed and looked down at the clumped mess that had been the moss ball. With a swipe of her nimble paw the scraps went flying, landing like a trail on the ground. It wasn't fair that she was almost three moons old and looked as though she were only a moon old, while her sisters looked as though they were seven moons; she hated the fact that every cat adored Coalkit and Ferretkit, yet looked down upon her with shame.

Snowkit growled and unsheathed her claws for a moment before retracting them into their place. With a snarl she leapt onto the scraps of moss, tearing at them like flesh. _You're my sisters, little scraps of moss... You're my mother _-slash- _and Coalkit _-slash- _and Ferretkit! _-slash-.

"Wishing for real prey, are we? You've got a whole three moons until that day comes, I'm afraid."

Snowkit froze in her rampage and rose to her paws, staring into the ice-blue eyes of a black and white tom. Snowkit sheepishly flattened her ears to her head and admitted, "Yeah."

The black and white tom sat down beside Snowkit, wrapping her in his long, fluffy tail. "You'll be an apprentice soon enough," he said, a purr to his words, "Then all of HailClan's prey is practically at your paws."

Snowkit rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she meowed, "But I still have to wait a whole three moons... _Three_! It feels so far away, I'll probably never get there!"

"You'll get there, Snowkit." The black and white tom purred. "You're getting there now!"

"The nursery is boring, Swiftwind..." Snowkit murmured, tilting her head so she could look up into his eyes. "Can't I sleep in the warriors den with you?"

"I would let you, but..." Swiftwind lightly drew his tongue in between Snowkit's ears in a comforting gesture. "I don't think your mother would be so fond of the idea."

"I'd much rather sleep in there with you," Snowkit murmured softly, her gaze drawn down to her paws as if they were the best things in the world. "No cat in the Clan likes me but you, Swiftwind."

"That's not true at all," Swiftwind meowed, drawing his tail tighter around Snowkit and giving her a warm, friendly nudge with his nose. "The Clan likes you, Snowkit. From the oldest elder to the leader herself, every cat likes you."

"Not my mother," Snowkit fought back a sob that rose in her throat. _Am I not wanted by Whitestar? Am I a burden to HailClan? _

"Oh, come on," Swiftwind joked, nudging her once more, "Whitestar has to like you, Snowkit. You're her daughter, and you'll always be that. HailClan blood runs through your veins, and it's all you'll ever be..."

"But what if I don't want to be that?" Snowkit asked, her ears twitching. "What if I don't want to be HailClan?"

"Then I don't know," Swiftwind replied, his eyes flashing. "But whatever it is that you want, I'll be here, Snowkit. If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, a cat to listen, or maybe just a friend... I'll be here, got that?"

Snowkit nodded and leaped out from the safety of his tail, stepping forward and digging her nose into his soft chest fur. Snowkit felt his chest rumble as he let out a soft purr, and felt his tongue draw in between her ears once more before drawing away, padding over to where Silverfang was calling for him.

_Sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on, a cat to listen, or even just a friend... Oh, Swiftwind, I hope this is real... I hope you mean your words. _

* * *

Snowkit jolted awake when a paw jabbed into her side. Pain flared in her body as she scrambled away. The same paw reached out and slid through her fur harmlessly. Coalkit was jerking her hind legs in the nest, her front paws curled into her middle. She must've kicked Whitestar in the spine, because she stirred with a tired sigh and lifted her head.

"Coalkit?" Whitestar asked through a yawn, "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No, Mama," groaned the black kit, her eyes flaring with pain. "My belly aches."

Snowkit hadn't seen any cat rise to their paws as quick as Whitestar had. "Sit tight, Coalkit. I'm going to get the medicine cat!"

_Medicine cat?_

Coalkit didn't awknowledge her, but she raced out of the nursery. Snowkit looked down at her convulsing sister in interest, her ears pricked.

A few nights before, the ground was powered with a cold, soft white fluff that shone when the sun rained down upon it. The fluff numbed her paws when she walked in it, but it was unlike Snowkit had ever seen before, therefore she enjoyed the feeling.

"Mama," Coalkit had said as she watched the first few flakes drift to the forest floor before sleep, "What is that stuff?"

"Snow," she replied. "It is what I got my name from."

Coalkit seemed so excited to see it at first, but now as she lay groaning and whimpering, she looked so much in pain.

Whitestar slipped through the entrance, followed by a dark brown she-cat. The she-cat was young, younger than Whitestar, but her eyes held a certain wisdom that made Snowkit start to feel interest in her.

"A belly ache, hm?" the dark brown she-cat spoke with some sort of authority hinted in her voice. Coalkit winced in response and she continued. "I'm going to need you to corporate with me, okay Coalkit?"

"Oakfrost, just tell us what's wrong with her!" snapped Whitestar from behind the dark brown cat.

Without turning to face her leader, Oakfrost said, "These things take patience. Do not worry Coalkit by fretting right over my shoulder."

Snowkit gaped. She had never heard anyone order Whitestar around like that.

Oakfrost lightly placed her paw over Coalkit's belly. Coalkit yelped with pain and jerked away, her claws flexing over her fur.

Snowkit -being the curious kitten she was- leaned forward and sniffed her sister. "Did you eat anything weird last night or something?"

"Snowkit!" snapped Whitestar, a hiss lacing with the words. "Do not interfere!"

"No, actually," said Oakfrost, gazing at Snowkit through timid blue eyes. "Actually, that's the right question to be asked. Coalkit, did you eat anything odd recently?"

"N-no," Coalkit paused as another wave of agony passed through her. "I-I don't t-think so... I had a-alot of milk last night, though."

"Too much food?" Oakfrost studied the black kit, like she didn't believe her. "Anything else to add to that?"

Coalkit hissed and lashed her tail as pain surged through her, and Whitestar opened her mouth to say something yet Oakfrost snapped at her to not interuppt.

Snowkit leaned forward and sniffed her sister again. "Did you eat crowfood last night? Did any cat make you do it?"

"Snowkit," Whitestar snarled.

"What does the pain feel like, Coalkit?" Snowkit asked, flicking her tail.

"I don't know!" cried Coalkit through gritted teeth. "It just hurts! Get it out of me!"

"Snowkit." snarled Whitestar. "Get over here and stop trying to help!"

Oakfrost sent her a fierce look, then dug through a various amount of leaf bundles beside her. She picked up a few leaves and placed them at Coalkit's muzzle. "Eat these. They'll make you sick so you can feel better."

Coalkit hesitated for a moment before lapping up the leaves. Her yellow eyes widened and she spat out the herb. "Ew! That's gross!"

"Look what you did!" snarled Oakfrost. "You're lucky I have more than just that batch! You think it's easy picking that type of herb in leafbare? Eat it!"

"Don't talk to my kit that way, Oakfrost." snarled Whitestar, and Oakfrost turned and spat at her leader. Whitestar hissed and led Ferretkit out of the den, leaving Snowkit without a care in the world.

"It's icky!" Coalkit complained. "I don't want to eat it!"

"You're going to eat it," snarled Oakfrost, "even if I have to shove it down your throat you're going to eat it. Unless you want that, then I suggest you eat the herb!"

After many moments hesitation, Coalkit sighed and licked up the half chewed herbs. Snowkit watched, wide-eyed as she swallowed them with disgust. Just seconds later, her throat convulsed and she retched, throwing up a puddle of slime. Snowkit wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"That's good," Oakfrost said. "How do you feel now?"

"A little better," murmured Coalkit, spitting out some saliva. "But I have a revolting taste in my mouth."

Snowkit sniffed Coalkit's small puddle of vomit.

"Ew!" came the disgusted cry of Ferretkit from outside and her scent wafted through the entrance of the den, until Whitestar snapped at her to not watch.

_t smells like... Sparrow._ Snowkit decided in her mind. With a curious gaze she looked down at her sister, and then watched as Oakfrost sniffed the puddle as well, coming up with the same conclusion Snowkit had.

"The sparrow must've been diseased," Oakfrost said with a twitch of her ears. "Good thing your mother came and got me before anything bad happened."

"Any other cat eat it?" Snowkit asked.

"W-well... I think Echopaw and Rosepaw had one or two bites..." murmured Coalkit sheepishly, rising slowly to her paws.

"I'll go check on them." Oakfrost whispered to herself. She beckoned Whitestar inside with her tail, and the HailClan leader came inside with Ferretkit in her jaws.

She placed Ferretkit beside Coalkit and turned to the medicine cat. "Well?"

"Coalkit had a bite of diseased sparrow," Oakfrost recited. "I'll have to go and check on Rosepaw and Echopaw, seeing as they had some as well."

"Thank you, Oakfrost. My kit would have died if it had not been for you."

"Don't just thank me..." Oakfrost directed her gaze to Snowkit. "Thank your daughter as well. She helped quite a bit."

Whitestar's gaze flickered over to her for a moment. The white leader smiled slightly and let out a chuckle. "I suppose she's a little medicine cat now, is she?"

_No! _Snowkit wanted to yowl, but she held her tongue. _I'm going to be a warrior, not a medicine cat! _

Oakfrost murmured something in reply to Whitestar and then began to head for the entrance of the nursery.

"Wait!" Snowkit called, running after her and bumping into her hind leg. "I want to ask you some things!"

Oakfrost turned back to her with curiousity burning in her blue gaze.

"What exactly is a medicine cat?" Snowkit asked and flattened her ears to her head at Ferretkit's remark about how stupid she sounded asking such a question.

"Oh," she said. "Well, we are the healers of the Clan. When cats are sick or injured, that's where I come in. I also help deliver kits. I helped your mother when she was having you, Coalkit and Ferretkit."

"But, I'm confused," Snowkit replied. "Why don't you become a warrior? Why don't you want to fight other Clans or become leader? What's the fun of gathering up herbs everyday? Don't you hunt? Please at least tell me you hunt."

"No. That's not what we train to do."

"Then what do you train to do?"

Oakfrost cocked her head. "Uh...identify medicines and interpret signs from StarClan." The medicine cat flicked an ear. "You may not believe it, but our training takes longer than yours."

"I thought that maybe Rosekit wanted to be a medicine cat, but then I thought it was crazy. How can anyone want to be shut in a den all day organizing leaves?"

"Me, that's who," Oakfrost snarled. "Our work is _very _important. If it weren't for medicine cats, than your Clan wouldn't be here. I was thinking while helping Coalkit that maybe you were interested in this _art... _but I guess I was wrong."

"Just because I have a good nose doesn't make me a medicine cat," growled Snowkit.

Oakfrost looked at her for a heartbeat, like she was trying to read her thoughts. She meowed, "You got a lot of nerve, kit. A lot of spunk. You're pretty mature for your age, how old are you, two moons?"

_Two moons, three quarters and two days. _"About."

"Well, I'm gonna tell you something. Being part of a Clan isn't about risking your life out on the battlefield. It isn't about how many times you defeat SunClan. It isn't about becoming leader, or even being a warrior. It's about being there for your Clanmates when they need you, however they need you. Some days they'll need a hunter, or a fighter, but somedays they'll just need a shoulder to lean on."

Snowkit blinked in surprise at the she-cat's wise words. They touched her in a way she hadn't been before and felt weird, unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Oakfrost dipped her head at her. "I'm going to check on Rosepaw and Echopaw. Do me favor, Snowkit, and remember those words. Remember those words like your own name. If you ever need me, your _Clanmate, _you know I'll be there."


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

Coalkit batted at Ferretkit's tail. Ferretkit let out a playful snarl and leapt at her sister, starting a tussle. Coalkit dodged her attack and leapt, catching Ferretkit's tail in her jaws and shaking her head for a moment before letting go. Both kits bursted into laughter.

"I can't believe it!" Ferretkit squealed with excitement. "We're gonna be 'paws tomorrow!"

"I know!" Coalkit agreed, shaking her head vigorously. "I wonder who Mama has chosen for our mentors!"

"I've chosen wonderful mentors for my wonderful little ones," Whitestar purred as she watched her kits play. "I have to have the strongest warriors train my beautiful daughters!"

Had she ever spoken to Snowkit with that much affection? That much love? That much warmth and pride?

Snowkit snorted. _Not that I can remember, anyhow... _

She was sitting at the back of the den, watching her mother and sisters through narrowed amber eyes. They were flecked with anger and hatred, yet shone with love whenever they would cast a glance her way. Her white pelt was bright in the blackness she called home, at the back of the nursery, away from all eyes... Away from all of those cruel, discieving eyes... All that hatred; all that disgust; everything her mother was.

Snowkit called from the back of the den to her mother. "Mama, am I going to be an apprentice tomorrow?"

Whitestar's blue gaze flickered over to her for a moment before resting back on Coalkit and Ferretkit. "No. You're too small to be an apprentice yet, Snowkit."

Snowkit's lips peeled back at her mother's remark; that was what she always told Snowkit whenever she wanted to go outside or watch new warriors be made. "You're too small," this and "You're too small," that. Snowkit growled under her breath and sheathed and unsheathed her claws, trying to regain her temper.

"So when will I be an apprentice?" she asked her mother, flicking her tail in the darkness.

Again, Whitestar's gaze flickered towards her for a single heartbeat before returning to Snowkit's siblings. "When you're bigger, Snowkit. I don't want you getting under any cat's paws. I don't need any warriors in the medicine den and off duty because they stepped on a kitten such as yourself."

Snowkit gritted her teeth and forced a smile onto her muzzle. "I understand now, Mama."

"Good." Whitestar drew her lips back in a yawn, revealing sharp white teeth. "Coalkit, Ferretkit! Come on, it's time for bed."

"But why?" both kits whined, each pair of ears flat to their head and their eyes -yellow and ocean blue- wide with innocence.

Whitestar purred fondly and drew them to her belly with her long tail. "It's time to stop playing and go to sleep, kits." She sent Snowkit a glare from the corner of her eye, and the white kitten -reluctant to obey her mother's orders- lay down in her own nest that was separate from Whitestar and her siblings.

_It's an act..._ Snowkit thought as she shut her eyes tight, her senses fading from the world around her. _It's all an act..._

* * *

"...and Coalkit, from this moment you will be Coalpaw. Cloudsplash will be your mentor, and may he pass down his wisdom and battle skills to you."

Snowkit watched -uninterested- as the black apprentice raced off of the Speaking Branch and towards the pure white tom, touching noses with him eagerly. Cloudsplash's eyes were angered, as if he didn't want Coalpaw as his apprentice in the first place.

She had attended several ceremonies in the last moon. First she attended Echopaw and Thunderpaw's warriors ceremonies. They were now Echodust and Thunderfang; Snowkit recalled how Rosepaw hadn't became warriors alongside them. She had watched the she-cat collapse onto the ground just as Whitestar was doing the ritual, coughing and hacking, trying to catch her breath.

She hadn't seen the rose-tinted gray she-cat since then. That was a whole moon ago.

Next she had seen Nightflower and Featherstorm become elders; she had seen the gray hairs reflected on their muzzles and the tiredness in their eyes, and once the ceremony was over with Snowkit had padded up to them and murmured her gratitude.

They hadn't replied, but that was something Snowkit was used too. No cat every replied to her, no matter what she said.

Well, except Swiftwind...

Snowkit missed the black and white tom horribly; he had received his first apprentice two moons ago and hadn't been by to see her since that night back when she was three moons old. She was now eight moons and one quarter, yet she was still considered too small to become an apprentice.

Sighing, Snowkit hung her head and crawled into her nest beside the entrance of the nursery, flattening her ears to her head in an attempt to block out the warm purrs of congratulations for Coalpaw and Ferretpaw that seemed to be right next to her.

Snowkit could hear her mother's stern meows echoing in her mind:

_You're too small to become an apprentice just yet, Snowkit. _

_You're too small to go outside into the forest, I don't want you getting snatched by a hawk. _

_You're too small- _

"I'm not to small!" the white kitten yowled fiercely, clawing at the edges of her nest with unsheathed claws in her blinded fury.

"Snowkit? Are you all right?"

Snowkit gasped, not noticing the presense of another cat inside the den.

"Snowkit?" the cat asked once more.

She knew that voice; that calm, genuine, sweet voice... She knew those eyes, the coldest shade of blue, hiding the depths of his true eyes with a frost-like shell... But whenever he was around her, that shell melted, leaving behind a pool full of warmth, of comfort...

Of love. Love for her, love for what she was... Love; genuine, pure love.

And Snowkit hated it.

"Swiftwind," Snowkit mewed. "What brings you in here?"

"I heard you yowling about something," Swiftwind meowed, coming to a halt beside Snowkit and settling himself down. "Are you all right? Is something troubling you?"

"No," Snowkit growled. _Don't mention anything... It'll make him love you more. You can't have that. You must be numb... _

"Snowkit..." Swiftwind murmured, drawing his tail around her fragile figure. "You can tell me what's wrong... I won't tell Whitestar or any other cat."

_You must be numb... Don't show any emotion. Become numb. _

And that's exactly what she did.


	7. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

It was Rosepaw's dead body, laying in the center of the clearing that brought Snowkit back to reality that night.

She had died, ultimately, of whitecough; the case had been too severe for Oakfrost's vast knowledge of herbs to cure. Willownose and Sharpwind -sticken with grief- sat beside their fallen kit, their eyes hollow and expressionless. The Clan -HailClan, the Clan of strong warriors- was silent as all sat vigil for the apprentice they all loved dearly.

Even Coalpaw and Ferretpaw were silent, which was unusual for Snowkit's ears. The sisters were always blabbering about nonsense, but now... Now it seemed as though they had no words to express their feelings towards any cat. Swiftwind was there as well, pressed up against the dark gray form of Featherstorm. Even Whitestar was there, her gaze traveling around her beloved Clan, finally falling on the daughter she did not love: Snowkit.

The white kit didn't feel anything as she faced the cold gaze of her mother from where the white leader stood on the Speaking Branch, her tail wrapped tightly around her paws. She felt nothing but numb.

Numb for her mother; numb from her sisters; numb from the Clan and all that resented her...

The only one her heart, filled with the bitter and cold numb-like state of ice, was melted when she was around Swiftwind.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Swiftwind directed Snowkit over to him with his tail. She quietly rose to her paws and trotted over there, trying not to disturb the grieving Clan. Featherstorm greeted her with a curt nod, which she returned; Swiftwind drew her closer with his black and white tail, allowing the small kitten to curl up and watch as the elders -one by one, pawstep by pawstep- hauled Rosepaw's body onto their backs and, with their heads and tail low to the ground, exited the clearing without so much as a murmur.

_Rosepaw... _Snowkit thought, reaching out with her paw to touch the air -as if she, the only kit in the nursery- could bring back the she-cat that was loved by all who knew her. _I'm so, so sorry... _

Snowkit felt a wet streak on her face and dabbed at it with her paw. When she pulled her paw away, she saw it little droplets of water on it, as if rain had just came down upon the Clan and she had jumped in a puddle. Her muzzle curved in the form of a frown, one that showed her grief.

_You must be numb. _Her mind commanded. _Or you show them you are weak. _

That was when she felt Swiftwind's cool breath in her ear. "Snowkit, you can let it go. You're okay, no cat can hear you. Just let it go; I'm right here."

She broke down then, crying all the moons of pain and suffering -the bitterness in her heart, the bitterness she felt towards her mother, all of it... She allowed it to drain out of her body in the form of tears, the little droplets showing all the pain and suffering she had endured within the eight moons she was inside the nursery with her siblings... All of it, gone.

"You're okay, Snowkit... I'm right here..." Swiftwind's soft tongue smoothed down her ruffled pelt, trying to comfort her.

_I'm not okay... _Snowkit wanted to yowl. _I'm a monster... _

* * *

**Swiftwind: **

He sat there for what seemed like an eternity with her; with Snowkit, in the center of the clearing, watching the small white kitten pour all of her pain, all of her suffering, out in the form of tears.

It hurt.

Looking at Snowkit, the cat he loved... Looking at her, seeing her so damaged beyond fix, broken beyond any sort of treatment...

It hurt him like a thousand thorns pricking into his pelt, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't release them from their hold.

It hurt him like a battle wound, one that wouldn't stop bleeding.

It just... It just _hurt. _

He couldn't express his sympathy in words. Swiftwind didn't know how he could possibly comfort Snowkit for all that she had been through from her days as a kit in the nursery, with her mother and siblings; now, although she was still in the nursery, she was older and wiser than before...

But still as broken; still as hurt; still as the ice in her heart, in her eyes... In her entire body.

But Snowkit wasn't like that around him, and he around her; together, they could bring each other back from the dark recesses of each of their minds, back into the reality neither wanted to face but needed too.

Together, they brought out the goodness in one another; the kindness, the generosity; the purity in love and all it stood for.

And it started with looking into Snowkit's amber eyes. The warm, kind amber eyes she used to have all the time... Now they were hardened, cold and lifeless to every cat except him.

_Except me... Except me! _

He looked up into the sky, where dawn was just coming over the horizon.

_I have to go on dawn patrol... Oh, bird-dung!_

Swiftwind looked at Snowkit then. She looked so peaceful, so content, wrapped in his warm, soft tail... She was wrapped in her cocoon of safety, her comfort zone...

He wished his tail could detach from his body so that it wouldn't leave her, even though the rest of him did.

Swiftwind's attention was directed to the entrance of camp, where Cloudsplash, Silverfang, and Coalpaw were waiting for him. Silverfang padded over to him, her green eyes soft as she gazed upon the sleeping form of Snowkit.

"You able to do dusk patrol instead?" her voice was warm, and she didn't raise her gaze from Snowkit to look up at him. "The poor kit needs some rest after that breakdown she had last night..." she padded away without another word, racing out of camp with the two other cats behind her and Swiftwind unable to follow.

He smiled for the first time in seasons then. A true, pure smile as his gaze was drawn to the snow-white form of Snowkit again.

_I'm right here, Snowkit... I'll always be here._

* * *

_**Awww... I flipping cried while writing both parts, you guys. That was so emotional! Am I right? **_

_**I love Swiftwind's part the most. I used a lot -and I MEAN A LOT- of detail for Snowkit's part, but I love Swiftwind's the most. His was not very hard to write since I've known the feelings he's going through. **_

_**That last line... OMG. I was so happy with the ending of the chapter! :D**_

_**Until zeee next update, my readers! :D**_

_**~Ben :3**_


	8. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the long wait in updating. This will probably be the last update for this week, since I am going to Washington D.C. on Friday and won't be here to update.**

**Please review... Oh, and I apologize in advance if this chapter is confusing... **

**~Ben**

**Chapter Six:**

"You're asking my permission to mentor Snowkit, I presume?"

The black and white tom stared at his leader, his gaze clouded. "It's time you made her an apprentice, Whitestar... She's almost ten moons old."

The white HailClan leader snarled menacingly. "She's still as small as a newborn kit."

"Maybe to you," snapped the tom, his teeth slightly revealed behind his lips. "But not to me."

"To you, Swiftwind." The leader mused, whiskers twitching. "To you, and you only."

"That doesn't matter!" The tom smacked his paw against the cold ground, a fire blazing in his ice-blue eyes. "What matters is-"

"How much you love her?" Whitestar chuckled, the sound low and deep in her throat. "Swiftwind, you fool. Snowkit is not one to love. You should be trotting after more experienced and loved warriors, but simply not a kit."

"She's not a kit, Whitestar. To you she's a kit, to Coalpaw and Ferretpaw and the rest of the Clan she's nothing more than a kit. But to me... To me she's got the strength and heart of any warrior, perhaps more than you."

"How dare you defy me?" Whitestar hissed. "You're just one of my warriors, Swiftwind."

"And you're just my leader." Swiftwind challenged. "What's the difference?"

There weren't any words to answer his question as Swiftwind filed out of the den.

There was only the muted sound of shocked silence.

**Snowkit:**

_Her body, tense with fear; her eyes, laced with the contradiction that she would never get out of this state she was in; her heart, pounding in her ears so loud she was sure any cat as far as SunClan could hear the repeatitive beating._

_She was afraid; afraid of them all._

_Afraid of Silverfang, the HailClan deputy; of Sharpwind and Willownose, Rosepaw's parents; afraid of Coalpaw and Ferretpaw, her own sisters; afraid of all of the Clan, her mother most of all._

_Whitestar. _

_That name. The one name that made her numb for all she could stand for; the one name she despised, the one name that ridiculed her for her constant size..._

_Oh, her mother... Her mother was the one she hated most of all._

_"You know you're not supposed to be out of camp, right?"_

_She turned, her ears pricking at the sound of a voice. A voice, one that she knew so well; one that made her heart flutter inside of her chest, a voice that brought back her inner self..._

_And as she stared into those wonderful ice-blue eyes, the shell of concealment melted off of his features and his eyes... She knew that all was bright again._

_She turned away and stared at the vast expanse of territory. "I guess you could say that."_

_The voice chuckled lowly and sat beside her, its pelt brushing hers. "You thinking again?"_

_"Who wouldn't be?" she stated, knowing it was a question he knew the answer too._

_"No cat other than you, apparently." There was a purr of amusement and love in the voice's words._

_She turned to it then once more, staring at the eyes. "Are you sure you're dead, Swiftwind?"_

_He nodded solemnly. "I can assure you, Snowkit... That whitecough took my life."_

_Snowkit looked down at his paws, so translucent she could see the grass beneath them. "I wish you wouldn't have gone... You were my best friend, the only cat I trusted..."_

_"You were the only cat I loved," Swiftwind answered, placing his ghostly white paw overtop of hers._

_She looked back up at him, shock in her gaze. "You... You loved me?"_

_"You were my everything, Snowkit. How could I not?"_

_Snowkit looked down at her paw that was covered by Swiftwind's. "I don't know, I guess... I guess I thought no cat would ever love me." She leaned forward and licked his foreleg, surprised at the way it felt as if he were actually right beside her instead of as a spirit. "I never thought I would be important to someone..."_

_"You're important to me, my love..." Swiftwind murmured, drawing her close to his side with a swipe of his paw. "You've always been important to me."_

_"Even when I die, I'll still be important to you?"_

_Swiftwind purred loudly and twined his tail with Snowkit's, not caring if the love they shared was forbidden by StarClan. "Oh, my Snowkit... You'll always be important to me, even more so when you join me here..."_

_"But what if you've faded by the time I join StarClan?"_

_"Then I'll be in your heart, forever and always."_

She woke with a start, her breath ragged and shallow. Her eyes glanced around wildly, taking in the scenery she was in.

It took her only a few seconds to realize she wasn't in the nursery; she was out in the darkness of the forest, frost soaking into her fur.

But this wasn't the forest she knew; no, this wasn't that at all.

"Where am I?" she wondered aloud, shaking beneath her pelt.

That was when a pair of eyes -amber, shining like the brightest dawning sun- flashed in front of her. A coat -black as the night that shone above them- was outlined against the eyes, until it finally connected to bring forth the shape of a powerful black tom.

"W-Who are you?" Snowkit asked, trembling. "W-Why am I here?"

The black tom smiled and his amber eyes flashed. "Why, young one... Welcome to StarClan. I am Shadowfire, the Guardian of The Place Of No Stars and StarClan combined."

The next words that Shadowfire spoke about stopped Snowkit's heart:

"I am your father, Snowkit. Welcome to the land of the dead. I think you'll like it here."


	9. Chapter 7

**ATTENTION ALL READERS:**

**Swiftwind is NOT dead. The italics last chapter was all a dream.**

**Chapter Seven**

**StarClan:**

A she-cat with a blue tint to her pelt paced in the star-littered clearing, her pawsteps uneasy. "This shouldn't be happening," she growled to no cat in particular. "Shadowfire and that kit should not even be in the same part of StarClan."

"It's what the Guardian has willed, Bluestar." came a reply, and a brown tom stepped out of the shadowed ferns to face her, his amber eyes flecked with wisdom and loyalty.

"How can you say such a thing, Stripeclaw? Shadowfire cannot be trusted; that kit should be escorted to the other dimension of StarClan, where the good cats reside."

"That kit, Bluestar, is Snowkit. And how can we be sure that she wants to be sent over to our place in StarClan?"

Bluestar let out a sharp hiss at Stripeclaw's words. "How are you so calm throughout this? How can you be so humble when the savior of our Clans rests in the balance of that one tom?"

"Perhaps she doesn't want to leave that part of StarClan. After all, the Guardian has told Snowkit he is her father." Stripeclaw murmured, whisking his tail through the air.

"He is not the Guardian!" Bluestar growled. "He rose to that by force, not by compassion."

"It was a position no other cat could uphold. We have been waiting for the right cat to be Guardian for seasons, and when we found Shadowfire's ambition and willpower stronger than any others, we had to allow him the place." Stripeclaw stated, his eyes narrowed upon the aging she-cat.

"The cats that were chosen for the job once they came to StarClan were killed by Shadowfire's claws," Bluestar retorted sharply, "How is that ambition and willpower? It's not even close to the concept!"

"Bluestar," Stripeclaw meowed, placing himself beside the old ThunderClan leader. "Snowkit has to decide for herself if she wishes to join us here... It's her choice."

"It's also her mistake if she refuses." Bluestar hissed, rising to her paws and making her way out of StarClan's grounds. "For if she joins Shadowfire, all is lost. Then what do we have?"

Stripeclaw was silent for a mere moment. "I… I don't know, Bluestar."

"We have nothing," Bluestar's blue eyes flashed with worry and long-forgotten memories. "Without Snowkit, StarClan is no more…"

**Snowkit:**

You are not my father, Shadowfire…

_She sat there, staring out at the vast expanse of territory with cold amber eyes that were veiled in thought and bitterness. _

_"You're my daughter, Snowkit… Embrace your heritage, for it is what will make you strong…"_

_She turned to the voice then, staring into the ocean blue eyes of the cat who claimed to be her father. _

You're not my father, so stop saying you are! Snowkit wanted to scream, yet she held her tongue.

_"I'm your father." Shadowfire whispered. _

She flattened her ears to her head in an attempt to block out the chant that was escaping Shadowfire's throat.

He's not my father… He's not my father…

_A sharp paw whizzed past her ear and slammed into the side of her head, making her vision blur for a split second. "Listen to me, kit," Shadowfire growled before his voice was back to the smoothness it was a moment ago. "And face the fact that you are from my blood… The strong are of my blood, the ambitious are of my blood, and the prideful are of my blood… And you, Snowkit, are the most powerful one of all."_

Snowkit woke with a start, her flanks heaving as she fought for breath. Her head was throbbing, her claws were clumped with moss and her pelt was dirty and unkept from tossing and turning.

She had always thought that meeting her father would be a swell and victorious meeting; for she would finally get to meet the cat whom her mother had never spoke of ever since they were kits. Her plan had backfired, obviously, much to her displeasure.

She rose to her paws, her jaws stretching back in the form of a yawn to reveal sharp teeth. From the light that seeped through the nursery's roof like sap off of a tree, she knew it was well past morning; perhaps it was sunrise. She had slept that long? It had only seemed like a few short heartbeats.

Snowkit padded out of the nursery and into the clearing, surprised to find no cat in camp. It was only Whitestar, padding towards her with her tail held high, Coalpaw and Ferretpaw trekking behind her in the same manner that alerted Snowkit's attention off of the warriors' den, where she hoped Swiftwind was sleeping.

"Hello, Whitestar." Snowkit mewed, dipping her head at her leader and mother.

Whitestar gave her a curt nod before turning towards Coalpaw. "Coalpaw, show your sister her nest in the apprentices den, please."

Coalpaw, although clearly unhappy about the duty, gave a solid nod to Whitestar and motioned Snowkit towards her with her tail.

Snowkit stared at Whitestar, her jaws open in a silent gape. "I-I'm an apprentice?"

"Duh!" scoffed Ferretpaw with a snort of amusement. "You became one last night just before moon high. Have you already forgotten?"

"Doesn't surprise me," Coalpaw commented, yet her eyes were dull and not lit with the intense fire that hid behind them most days. "Come on, Snowpaw. You've got a nest to build."


	10. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

Snowpaw let out an irritated growl, tearing large clumps of dirt and leaves from in between her claws. She was laying out in a patch of moonlight, the sky above littered with stars and her pelt flecked with a silver-like appearance.

_This is ridiculous,_ thought Snowpaw with a snort of annoyance. _I'm as big as Ferretnose yet I'm still not allowed to become a warrior! Coalfire and I are just as fast as one another, and Whitestar knows it!_

"Snowpaw!"

The white apprentice raised her head to find none other than Ferretnose standing above her, the brown warrior's ocean blue eyes -much like Shadowfire's- flashing with authority.

Snowpaw blinked at her sister. Then, with a lazy and bored tone in her voice she asked, "Can I help you with something, Ferretnose?"

A paw collided with the side of her head, claws unsheathed and tearing off a clump of white fur from behind Snowpaw's ear.

"That's mentor to you, kit. Now, get up off of your tail and do something useful!" Ferretnose hissed and lashed her tail, and -much to her inner conscience telling her not to comply- Snowpaw obeyed the command and did as she was instructed, rising to her own paws and facing her mentor with a stern gaze.

"What do you suppose I do?" Snowpaw asked. "It's moonhigh -every cats asleep. It's not like I can do much around here at night..."

"Don't talk back to me!" Ferretnose growled sharply. "Just go... Go and fetch some apprentices and go night-hunting!"

"That's what RainClan cats do," Snowpaw pointed out. "We're HailClan cats, Ferretnose..."

Ferretnose closed her eyes and harshly blew air out from her jaws. Snowpaw forced back a purr of how happy she was of the fact that she had gotten on the brown she-cat's nerves already, and the pair hadn't even been apprentice and mentor for a mere sunrise yet. "Then go out into the forest and scout around for any type of suspicious behavior from any cat of any Clan."

"And if I should find any?" Snowpaw inquired, though she already knew the answer.

"Then report it back to me and I'll proceed to tell Whitestar." her mentor stated, then flicked her tail in dismissal.

Snowpaw nodded and took off into the night, her white pelt contrasting with the darkness above and around her.

* * *

Snowpaw reached the heart of HailClan's territory within several heartbeats, her long legs making strides and leaps over tree stumps easier.

"Mind if I tag along?"

Snowpaw jumped at the voice, unbeknownst that another cat was with her. She whipped around, facing the tree-line where the voice had come from. "Who's there? Show yourself!" She demanded, her fur fluffing up along her shoulders in an attempt to seem angered.

A purr followed her order. "Snowpaw, it's me!"

Snowpaw blinked as darkness split to reveal a pair of ice-blue eyes. "Swiftwind!" Snowpaw cried, grateful that he hadn't died like in her dream before she had met Shadowfire. She raced forwards, bowling the black and white tom over and burying her muzzle in his chest fur. "I'm so happy you're not dead!"

"So am I," Swiftwind purred, nuzzling Snowpaw affectionately. He lightly shook the she-cat off of him and looked into Snowpaw's amber eyes, an intense fire churning within them. "Why would I be?"

Snowpaw looked down at her paws, shame washing over her pelt like a huge black cloak. "I..."

"Snowpaw," meowed Swiftwind, guiding Snowpaw's amber gaze back to his own with his long tail. His tail held its place under her chin, as if Swiftwind thought she would look away again. "Is something wrong? Did I do something?"

"No, no!" Snowpaw insisted, shaking her head vigorously. "You didn't do anything!"

"Then what's bothering you?" Swiftwind asked, his left ear twitching.

Snowpaw felt imaginary sweat bead down her muzzle, and instinctively dabbed at the fur with her paw, not surprised when she found nothing there. "I... I had a dream where you were dead! You died from whitecough and I couldn't be with you!"

Swfitwind's eyes flashed and he placed his head on top of Snowpaw's, and the white apprentice was grateful for the loving gesture. "I'm not leaving for a long time, Snowpaw..." Swiftwind meowed, and for a moment the words were laced with fear.

"Good," Snowpaw murmured against him, sighing in contempt from the feeling of his pelt against hers again.

Swiftwind purred, but flicked his ears. "Do you hear that?"

Snowpaw listened. "Someone's coming."

As soon as the she cat spoke, two cats emerged.

"Well, well, well..." Ferretnose sneered as she padded from the shadows of two bushes, Coalfire just behind her. Both she-cat's had smirks painted on their faces and amusement gleaming in their eyes.

"Patheticpaw had to actually leave camp in order to talk to Swiftwind!" Coalfire burst into laughter, her cackles being heard probably as far as RainClan.

"Aw, look!" Ferretnose's breath was suddenly tickling Snowpaw's ear, and the white apprentice leapt out of her way, separating herself from Swiftwind. "Thanks, Snowpaw. How did you know I loved this seat?" Ferretnose let out a purr as she settled herself beside Swiftwind, resting her head on the tom's paws and blinking up at him through wide ocean blue eyes.

"Um..." Swiftwind's muzzle flushed a dull rosy color, indicating that the black and white warrior was blushing. Snowpaw felt betrayal and malice burn in the pit of her stomach and she let out a hiss, her white fur fluffing up along her spine.

"Oh, is little Snowpaw getting angry?" Coalfire sarcastically purred, and Snowpaw wildly turned her head to the side to find her black sister sitting down beside her, her long tail wrapped around Snowpaw's frail body. She watched Ferretnose and Swiftwind through admiring eyes.

"Poor scrap," murmured Ferretnose from where she lay beside Swiftwind, nuzzling the black and white tom affectionately with her muzzle from time to time. "I bet you wish you were in my place, don't you? Well, your spot has been taken, I'm afraid."

"Swiftwind..." Snowpaw whispered, her amber eyes clouding with tears. "H-How... Please tell me..."

"Snowpaw," Swiftwind meowed, raising his paw to take a step towards her yet Ferretnose saw the gesture and leapt at him, pinning him down with sharp and agile paws.

"Ah, ah, ah..." chided Ferretnose with a purr. "We don't want you loving another cat other than me, now do we? You love me and only me. Understand?"

"I don't-" Swifwind started, but Ferretnose's claws gliding wistfully across one side of his face made him pause in the rebuttal. He let out a scream as blood pooled out of his eye and his cheek.

"Say you love me, fool!" Ferretnose hissed. "Say it!" Her eyes were mad, burning with a hungry fire Snowpaw had never seen in them.

"I..." Swiftwind swallowed harshly as pain was exploding through his face. "I... I love you, Ferretnose!"

"No!" Snowpaw screeched, tears overflowing her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. "Swiftwind, no!"

"Yes, my sister!" Ferretnose yowled to the night, her voice ringing with victory. She looked back at Snowpaw, her teeth bared. "He loves me, you idiot! Not you!"

"You're a monster," Snowpaw hissed, narrowing her eyes. "A ice-hearted monster."

"That may be," Ferretnose meowed, leaping off of Swiftwind and helping the tom to his paws before trotting over to Snowpaw. She hooked a long, jagged claw under Snowpaw's chin, so deep Snowpaw was sure she would draw blood. "But I know for a fact that I'm not insane like you."

With that, the brown she-cat trotted back to Swiftwind and led him away, Coalfire following close behind.

_Insane... I'm insane. Oh, StarClan, what have I become?_


	11. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Coalfire:**

Coalfire watched through saddened eyes as Snowpaw blindly padded into camp, her white fur now having gray streaks near her eyes from where she had been weeping from Swiftwind's confession.

She thought about going inside the apprentices den to comfort her sister; the sister she was supposed to hate and despise. But Snowpaw was a genuine soul, with the heart as strong as a lion, and courage like that was nothing to be hated on.

_I shouldn't have done that,_ Coalfire scolded herself. I shouldn't have neglected her when we were kits... Perhaps then, maybe she could trust me. Perhaps then, maybe she and I could bond... Perhaps then, maybe Snowpaw wouldn't be so numb and hurt.

But it was too late. Coalfire had done something terrible to her sisters.

Ferretnose and Snowpaw. She shouldn't have chosen one over the other. If she had loved them, she wouldn't have.

But monsters were incapable of love.

Instead, she'd pitted them against eachother.

Over a tom of all things. She'd let them fight, and she let Ferretnose try to claim what was already claimed; Swiftwind's love.

Coalfire admired Swiftwind's dedication to Snowpaw. She knew it was killing the white she cat, the fact he'd been forced to proclaim his love for another.

Killing.

She deserved to be killed. To die and be left in the Dark Forest, with the other monsters. Coalfire let a tear fall from her eye. She knew what must be done.

"Coal... Coalfire?"

Her yellow eyes were snapped up to the white form of Snowpaw. The she-cat, ultimately, was somewhat calmed down, yet she still looked able to burst into tears at any heartbeat.

"Snowpaw," Coalfire breathed out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing over-"

"Oh, has little Patheticpaw come back to camp?"

Coalfire stiffened at the voice of Ferretnose. _Please, StarClan, send her away... Snowpaw doesn't need more heartache than she already has endured..._

She was surprised to hear Snowpaw's calm answer. "Yes, sister. I have..."

Her yellow gaze flickered over to her left, where Ferretnose now stood with her tail wrapped around Swiftwind's neck. The tom's gaze was pleading, almost hurt... As if doing this to the cat he loved hurt him more than dying.

"Shouldn't you be far away from the Clans by now?" Ferretnose asked, her whiskers twitching. "I mean, let's face facts here. Now that you don't have your precious little mate anymore, you're nothing but a small useless bundle of fur!"

_StarClan, stop this! _Coalfire willed silently. _Make this stop before some cat gets hurt!_

Snowpaw screamed as Ferretnose lunged for her, having Featherstorm and Silverfang hold Swiftwind back from interfering. Coalfire watched as the two she-cats rolled around on the ground, nipping and clawing at each other's necks in an attempt to kill the other.

Snowpaw was suddenly pinned by Ferretnose's sharp claws. The brown she-cat's blue eyes were wild with a hunger, a hunger for blood and a craving for murder. "Coalfire, my sister!" Ferretnose cried. "Slit her throat so that we may both get revenge for all she has caused us!"

Coalfire froze, unsure of what to do. She looked to Snowpaw, and then to Swiftwind, as if the two cats could mentally give her advice.

"Coalfire..." Swiftwind murmured. "Don't do this..."

"Sister!" Ferretnose screamed, and Coalfire's gaze flickered over to her bloodthirsty sister. "Kill her while we have the chance!"

Coalfire's heart tore in two as she shook her head and let out a battle cry, only to race out of camp and towards the river at the edge of HailClan's territory.

* * *

The forest was a giant blur as Coalfire fled from camp, her paws not even feeling as if they touched the ground to increase her speed.

At last, she reached the river. The water looked so calm, so inviting... Perhaps if she were to collide with a rock she wouldn't feel the pain of not going up to breathe... She would die instantly, a death that no cat would miss at all.

"Coalfire!"

Her ears pricked as she heard the cry of Stormfeather behind her, and the rustling of bushes as the tom entered her space. She could smell the fear and worry off of the golden tom like prey, as if he were fearing for her.

"What do you want, Stormfeather?" She growled. Seeing him was not going to make this any easier, especially if he jumped in after her.

"Don't do this," Stormfeather meowed, and his pelt brushed against hers as he came up beside her. "Please..."

"What does it matter?" Coalfire's voice was cold and numb, and she turned her expressionless yellow eyes on Stormfeather. Her eyes flashed with hurt and her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest. "Where's... Where's Snowpaw?"

"She's in Oakfrost's den," Stormfeather meowed.

"And..." Coalfire knew she would hate herself for asking this. "And Ferretnose?"

"She's... She's dead, Coalfire... Swiftwind killed her."

"And now I'm finishing the job. I belong in the Dark Forest, Stormfeather. Let me go!" She exclaimed when Stormfeather stepped in front of her, blocking her from the river.

"You don't belong in the darkness, Coalfire." He told her.

"I do. You don't understand, Stormfeather. I'm a monster, and I have to do this... For the good of the clan." She shoved him out of the way.

He pounced on her then, pinning her down with claws dug deep into the soil beneath them so that Coalfire couldn't escape.

"Let me go!" Coalfire pleaded, tears stinging her eyes. "I deserve to die! I just want to die, Stormfeather! I-I..."

Stormfeather's tongue suddenly licked her nose in an attempt to stop her pleas. "Stop, Coalfire." He said, his eyes flashing. "It hurts when you say things like that..."

"What do you care?" Coalfire cried. "No cat gives a rats tail about me!"

"I do, Coalfire!" Stormfeather retorted, pressing his muzzle against hers.

Coalfire shook the tom off of her and rose to her paws, staring at Stormfeather through wide eyes. "You... You care about me?"

"Of course I do," Stormfeather meowed sheepishly. "I... I love you, Coalfire. I always have..."

At his words Coalfire couldn't help but purr and twine her tail with his. "I've always loved you too, Stormfeather..."

Stormfeather purred loudly and touched his nose to Coalfire's. Then, with their tails entwined and their eyes full of love, the pair set off back to camp.

Coalfire had been saved by love. And she would make sure she would love Stormfeather until her last breath.


	12. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**Snowpaw:**

She smelt nothing, but the heavy reek of blood.

She saw nothing but him.

He stared down at her in in shock, ice-blue eyes wide in shock and horror, mouth open in a soundless gape.

It was then that Snowpaw forced herself to look down at the light brown carcass that once was her sister, alive and well. Now, Ferretnose lay on the ground, blood seeping from her throat, dead and broken.

Swiftwind's paws glistened with crimson, the last remains that had been of Ferretnose. His ears were flat against his head, his head bowed in shame of himself.

Snowpaw padded over to him and nuzzled her grieving mate. "You had to do it," she murmured in his ear softly. "There wasn't any way around it..."

Swiftwind leaned heavily against her, as if he could no longer hold himself up. "I killed her..." His voice was soft, minuscule, almost mute. "I... I killed her..."

"You did well, Swiftwind."

Snowpaw's tail twitched at her sister's voice.

She felt Swiftwind shift beside her, knowing that her mate was turning towards the black she-cat. "How was killing her doing well? I murdered her with my own claws!" His voice was pained as he spoke, and Snowpaw knew by 'her', Swiftwind meant Ferretnose.

"Ferretnose was about to kill Snowpaw,"

She felt Coalfire's gaze rest on her.

"and naturally you did what was meant to be done, Swiftwind. You protected your mate from being killed by her own kin."

"But in the same sense I killed an innocent cat." Swiftwind snarled, almost as if he were beating himself over the situation.

Coalfire's black pelt brushed against Snowpaw's for a mere second before she spoke. "Ferretnose was not innocent by any means. She was a cat hungry for bloodshed and murder, not compassion and simplicity."

"And you know this how?" Snowpaw asked, twitching her right ear.

"I know because I watched her train for seasons with cats that had pelts as black as the night and eyes red as blood."

She felt Swiftwind stiffen beside her and anger radiate off of his pelt. He uttered a word, one simple word, that Snowpaw knew all too well as a cat's name:

"Shadowfire."

* * *

**Swiftwind:**

Coalfire's yellow eyes narrowed. The black warrior opened her mouth to speak, when a shriek sounded at the top of the Speaking Branch. Turning his head, Swiftwind saw Whitestar standing at the edge of the branch, her pelt bristling and a hiss escaping her throat.

The white HailClan leader leapt down the Speaking Branch and raced to Ferretnose's body, her dark blue eyes, once cold and lifeless, now shimmering as tears formed above the surface.

"My daughter!" Whitestar yowled, shutting her eyes tightly and flattening her ears to her head, as if this were all a nightmare. Her eyes opened and immediately settled about her gathered Clan, who were all looking at their leader with shock in their eyes. "Who has killed my daughter? I demand to know!"

He felt Snowpaw shrink back against him and let out a small whimper of fear. He curled his tail around her, raising his chin defiantly.

He felt Whitestar's gaze set on his mate. "Snowpaw." Whitestar snarled, a cackle following the white apprentice's name. "I should've known it was you. Always the jealous one, trying to win my affection and love for you... Always the one who made other cats pity her, the one who's begging for attention!"

"Mother!" Coalfire cried, desperation clear in her voice. "Don't do this to her! She's already gone through enough!"

"Silence, Coalfire!" Whitestar growled, lashing her tail as she stalked closer to Swiftwind and Snowpaw. "She shall be punished for her crime!"

Swiftwind lashed out a paw, surprised to hear a snarl of pain and feel blood on his claws. He bared his teeth at his leader, and cats gasped in shock at what he had done. "Over my dead body, Whitestar... Over my dead body."

Whitestar shook the blood from her eye and smirked at Swiftwind. "A challenge, young warrior? I would expect you to think wisely about how you challenge me..."

"There's no thinking when it comes to battle," Swiftwind meowed harshly. "You of all cats should know that."

"Swiftwind..." Snowpaw murmured, and the black and white tom flicked an ear to show he had heard her. "Don't challenge her... Please!"

"If it saves you from dying at your mother's claws," Swiftwind said, turning to Snowpaw and looking into her eyes. "I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that you are safe."

He turned back to Whitestar, his gaze determined. "Let's do this."

Whitestar's eyes narrowed with a murderous gleam shining in them. "This will be fun," she murmured, and then flew at the tom.

She hadn't even got to sink her teeth into Swiftwind's throat before a force knocked her aside, shoving her muzzle down in the dirt. She looked up at a pair of amber eyes, lit by a fire of death.

Snowpaw.

Whitestar let out a cackle and wrestled with her daughter, tearing at her flesh and pelt with sharp claws. She watched, impressed just the slightest, as Snowpaw quickly retaliated to each and every blow the HailClan leader was giving her.

It was within a few mere seconds of Snowpaw pinning Whitestar down when she flipped her daughter onto her back, Whitestar now hovering above her in all her glory. "This is what you deserve," she snarled, and bit down on Snowpaw's throat.

The cry that emitted from the small she-cat was music to her ears.

And at last, she felt her useless daughter go limp in her jaws. She let the apprentice go from her grasp, allowing Snowpaw's head to hit the ground with a sickening thump.

Her daughter -oh, her useless and ice-heart of a daughter- was dead.

**Swiftwind:**

He sat alone on the riverbank for what seemed like hours.

Just sitting there, not making a move; just sitting there, silent and still; just sitting there, numb.

Numb wasn't the word in this situation. It was more along the lines of non-existence.

"Swiftwind."

He flattened his ears against his head and shut his eyes tight.

"Swiftwind, look at me."

_Don't open your eyes... It's a dream, fool... It's not real... Don't open your eyes... _

"Swiftwind... Swiftwind, my love, do this one favor I ask of you: _Look at me._"

_It's not real... It's not real... It's just a dream, an image... Your imagination is going haywire, Swiftwind... It's not real... _

"Look at me..."

_It's not real!_

"Look at me, Swiftwind..."

_It's not real!_

"Wake up, idiot!"

Swiftwind shot upward, his breathing ragged and his pelt ruffled. He looked around the warriors den wildly, wondering how he had gotten in here.

Coalfire's eyes were bright as she stared at him. "Good! You're awake. Now you can come see!"

Swiftwind blinked a few times and yawned, revealing his sharp teeth. "See what?"

Coalfire nudged him playfully with her muzzle. "Come outside and see!" She raced out of the den, her tail streaming behind her. Outside, Swiftwind could hear to joyous calls of the Clan.

_What, did Snowpaw come back or something? _He let out a snort at his own joke. He rose to his paws and smoothed down his ruffled fur with a few swift licks of his tongue, then joined the rest of the Clan out in the clearing, stopping in his tracks when he saw what the Clan was so happy-go-lucky about.

_No... It can't be..._

There, in the center of the clearing, lay two small, measly kits.

There was something... Off, almost different about one of them.

It took Swiftwind a moment to realize what it was.

It was pure white -just like Snowpaw.

The other -black and white, just like him.

A sharp and dull pain suddenly pierced through him, the intensity growing stronger and stronger until there was nothing but a throbbing in the back of his mind and body. He let out a scream, yet it was as if he were cut off from the rest of the Clan, where no cat could hear his cries.

* * *

He awoke in an light-bathed area, where no darkness seemed to touch even the slightest bit.

"Welcome, Swiftwind of HailClan."

He turned to the voice, his eyes growing wide as he saw Snowpaw and Ferretnose.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded, a wail rising in his throat. "Send me back!"

Ferretnose placed her tail on his shoulders, her ocean blue eyes saddened and dull. "You cannot go back, Swiftwind."

"It is not your duty to watch over the Clan from down in the living." Snowpaw meowed, padding forward to stand beside the sister she had forever long despised. "From up here, where the dead are the Clans' most sought after and respected cats... This has been your destiny for quite sometime now, just as dying in the battle with my mother was mine."

"I-I don't understand," Swiftwind's mind was whirling from all of the news. "H-How can that-"

"Do you see those kits, Swiftwind? Do you see how they look like each of us?" Snowpaw meowed, her gaze drawn to her paws, where a clear view of the living Clan was visible from all the way up here.

"Yes, I do."

Snowpaw raised her head to look Swiftwind in the eye. "That is our destiny, to be recarinated as kits once more. To live our lives as one,"

"To accomplish what has needed to be done for seasons on end," Ferretnose added.

"To finish where we left off,"

"And to fufill your destinies." Ferretnose finished.

"What exactly are our destinies?" Swiftwind asked.

He watched Snowpaw share a quick side glance with Ferretnose. This time, it was Ferretnose who spoke:

"To bring forth the cats who are 'different.' from their Clans and to HailClan."

"How is that supposed to happen?"

"Simple," Snowpaw meowed. "You and I shall be the guides of two cats from Clans way beyond this territory, in Clans called MarshClan and PondClan."

"And what does this have to do with the kits looking like us?"

"The kits are to be raised in HailClan with different mothers, fathers, and siblings. It will be like you and Snowpaw weren't even born at all. It will be back in a time of grace, back before the tom's rule on every Clan... Back to when all things were well." Ferretnose meowed.

"Are you ready?" Snowpaw murmured, her eyes flashing. "We must hurry."

Swiftwind nodded and bid farewell to Ferretnose, and together he and Snowpaw raced out of StarClan's grounds and out into a place they would never forget.

* * *

**You guys are going to KILL me. But this is the last chapter for Numb Like Snow. Yes, I shall be making a third one, more action-packed and better than this one. I just feel that if I continued with this one, it's gonna spoil a lot of stuff. **

**Keep on the look out for _Warriors: Stripes_! Oh, I'm so excited for this next book! It'll be a SwiftxSnow you guys will never forget! **

**~Ben :D**


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